


goat's blood

by DisposablePaperCup



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies)
Genre: Demon AU, Dialogue-Only, Fluff, Gen, Kidnapping, MJ is a very prepared summoner of said demon, Peter Parker is a demon, Romance, for like 2 seconds, now ki s s
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-30
Updated: 2020-12-30
Packaged: 2021-03-11 02:14:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,146
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28437465
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DisposablePaperCup/pseuds/DisposablePaperCup
Summary: “Hello, summoner! Thank you for calling our service, yadda-yadda, what’s your deal, kid?”“Wow.”“Yeah, I get that a lot.”“No- I just- I can’t believe that actually worked.”“You performed an advanced demonic summoning without knowing if it was going to work or not?”“Sure.”“That’s fair."(Or, Peter is a demon and MJ is his summoner.)
Relationships: Michelle Jones/Peter Parker
Comments: 7
Kudos: 46





	goat's blood

“Hello, summoner! Thank you for calling our service, yadda-yadda, what’s your deal, kid?”

“Wow.”

“Yeah, I get that a lot.”

“No- I just- I can’t believe that actually _worked_.”

“You performed an advanced demonic summoning without knowing if it was going to work or not?”

“Sure.”

“That’s fair. Alright, so! The name’s Toz’goral Sallmolan - of the ninth circle, of course - at your service.”

“...Um.”

“Just call me Tony.”

“Huh. Okay, Tony.”

“That’s my name - don’t wear it out! Now, what’s your deal? Not to be impatient but we don’t exactly have all day. Or - we _do_ , but I kinda have a quota to hit. Take your time, I guess.”

“I wrote a contract.”

“Oh, you’re a _prepared_ one. We don’t get many of those. Lemme see it.”

“Sure.”

“...Oh you meant an _actual_ contract.”

“What’d you think I meant?”

“Well, usually we get a slip of paper with like, five terms and conditions on it then do the rest of the contract work ourselves.”

“And?”

“This is an entire twenty pages.”

“I know.”

“...I like your spunk, kid. Let me see what I can do for you, alright?”

“Alright.”

“...Mmhm… Okay, so, this boils down to, ‘gimme a demon to do whatever for me until I die’, right?”

“Basically.”

“Any specific requests?”

“Not really.”

“You don’t talk much, do you? Alright, well, I think I’ve got just the guy. I think you’ll get along nicely, too. You’re both, what? Thirteen? Fourteen?”

“Fifteen. Wait- he’s _fifteen_?”

“Yup!”

“Not, like, fifteen decades or fifteen centuries or something?”

“Nope - fresh outta the seventh circle. Normally we wait a few decades before we send a new demon to do contracts, but I’ve got faith in him.”

“Huh.”

“Now, honestly, he’s never done a contract before, so bear with him, okay? He’s an optimistic little guy.”

“...Okay, I guess?”

“I’ll send him right up once we get this contract processed, which should take… two days? We’ll see. Might be two hours, depends.”

“Alright.”

“See you then… MJ, you said?”

“I didn’t say.”

“Eh, semantics. See you then, MJ.”

“Yeah. Sure.”

\---

“Hi!”

“ _Holy shit-!”_

“Oh- I got it-!”

“...”

“Ta-da! Got your, um… books?”

“...”

“Sorry about startling you. I-I’m Peter!”

“...”

“Er- actually it’s Phetganuur Phonoth of the seventh circle- b-but I go by Peter.”

“...”

“...”

“...Okay?”

“R-right! You’re, um, MJ, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay, cool. Um… do you have anything you need me to do?”

“...Not right now.”

“Alright, that-that’s fine! Just uh… just say my name if you need anything? Like- not like three times like Beetlejuice or something- just the one time-”

“You’ve seen Beetlejuice?”

“Yeah? I-I mean, there’s not exactly a lot of entertainment _down under_ , y’know, but uh, we have some stuff?”

“Huh. Okay.”

“Uh… so… yeah.”

“Hm.”

“...”

“Ever seen Supernatural?”

“Um… no?”

\---

“Okay-that’s just _ridiculous_ . Demons can’t _do that_!”

“Mmhm."

“And even if we could we wouldn’t use possession to just _kill people_ \- that’s just bad business practice, right there.”

“Mmhm.”

“...”

“...”

“Okay- I- Uh... _what_?”

“Mmhm.”

“This-this show- can I speak frankly?”

“Who says ‘ _speak frankly_ ’ anymore?”

“I do!”

“...”

“...Tony says good manners are important.”

“Nerd.”

“Hey-!”

“Whatever. Go for it.”

“This show isn’t very good.”

“I know. That’s the beauty of it.”

“Huh.”

“Mmhm.”

\---

“Hey, MJ! What’s up- why’d you call me?”

“Can you kill people?”

“I- _what_?”

“Can. You. Kill people?”

“I-I _guess_? If you asked me to? What-what happened, are you okay?”

“Huh. Yeah, I’m fine. See you.”

“...Uh…Okay, then.”

“Uh-huh.”

“...Bye?”

“...”

“...Oookay."

\---

“Hey, MJ! What-”

“I need you to staple these for me.”  
  
“You… what.”

“I don’t have a stapler. My teacher said the essay needed to be stapled together. Ergo: staple these for me.”

“I… okay, then. Here.”

“Oh. Huh.”

“What?”

“That was much faster than I expected it to be.”

“Well, yeah. I don’t technically have to summon a stapler or anything - I can just kinda… _do_.”

“Neat. See ya.”

“Right. Bye, MJ.”

\---

“MJ, what’s up?”

“Wanna watch this with me?”

“I… _huh_?”

“Wanna watch Sherlock with me?”

“I-I mean, sure? I don’t know what that means-”

“It’s fine. Sit down.”

“Alright.”

“...”

“...”

“Why are you so tense?”

“I-I’m not _tense_ \- I just-” 

“What?”

“You’re not… you’re not exactly…”

“I’m not exactly _what_?”

“Not exactly a _typical_ summoner.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“I-I just mean that you’re not asking for very much-! I just staple papers and _watch TV_ with you- usually people ask for like, a million dollars or world domination or something.”

“Huh.”

“So… yeah.”

“...Well, I asked for a demon to be my personal assistant until I die. That’s you.”

“Yeah?”

“I didn’t ask for money or fame or whatever because _I don’t care_ about that stuff. All I need _you_ to do is help me staple papers and hold flashcards so eventually I can become the CEO of a company like Stark Industries without getting burnt-out at fifteen. Got it?”

“I… yeah. Yeah, I got it.”

“Good. Now sit. _Relax._ You’re stiff as a board over there.”

“Okay-okay! Stop- _poking me_ with your feet!”

“Whatever you say, hornhead.”

“J-just _play it_.”

“You get flustered so easy it’s almost pathetic.”

“ _Play it_.”

“Sure.”

“...”

“...hornhead.”

“ _MJ-!_ ”

\---

“M...J?”

“Hey, hornhead.”

“What the _fuck_?”

“Hey, so…”

“Are we in the back of a _van_?”

“Remember how I asked if you could kill people?”

“Yup. Definitely. Hundred-percent.”

“Get on that, please.”

“With pleasure.”

\---

“So.”

“So?”

“You got yourself kidnapped.”

“ _Jesus_ , you sound like a Captain America PSA.”

“Language. Also, stop moving. I’m trying to get the gauze to stay.”

“It’s _fine_. I just got knocked around a little. Leave it. Or, better yet, can’t you just magic it better?”

“Believe it or not? No. I can’t. That’s one of the big rules.”

“Does that count?”

“I’m not allowed to save you from immediate death- but that only counts if you’re _currently dying_ . You’re injured though, so - under Contractee Subsection C-453A - _yes_ , it counts.”

“Huh. Good to know.”

“Yeah.”

“...”

“...You’re upset with me.”

“ _Upse-_ Yes! Yes, I’m upset with you!”

“Why?”

“ _Why_ ? Because you _got yourself kidnapped!_ ”

“I didn’t _ask_ to get kidnapped!”

“You should’ve called me sooner! Not when you were bleeding out in the back of a van!”

“I wasn’t _bleeding out_ , Peter-”

“That’s not my point!”

“So what _is_ your point, then? 

“ _What?_ ”

“I die, you get my soul, you _leave_ , end of story. Why do you care?”

“I-I-I just... _do_ , okay?”

“Peter.”

“I-is it so hard to believe I’d rather _not_ see you die?”

“ _Peter_.”

“And-and if you’ve forgotten- _I’ve never done this before_ , okay? I’ve never had to actually collect-”

“ _Peter!_ ”

“ _What?!_ ”

“I… care about you too.”

“...Oh.”

“Hm.”

 _“Oh._ ”

“Yeah, ‘ _oh’_.”

“But-but-you-”

“Just _c’mere_ , hornhead.”

“Uh-okay- _mmf-!_ ”

“...”

“...”

“...You’re not very good at this.”

“...Yeah. I figured”

“...Eh… It’s fine. We’ll work on it.”

“That sounds like a plan.”

“You’re sappy, hornhead.”

“W-well-!”

“I like sappy.”

“Oh. Good, then.”

“Yup.”

“...”

“...”

“So, could we maybe do that again-?”

“ _Yes_.”

“Okay.”

**Author's Note:**

> Might make this a full series/a fleshed-out fic? Just got alotta ideas bouncing around atm so I'm trying to filter some stuff out.
> 
> If you enjoyed this fic please drop a comment/leave a kudos! They're always appreciated!


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